Nagging Narratives

you, on the edge of your bed.

fingers, like your mind, moving around in circles on

crisp sheets that have never been used before.

There are stories in you that you've told before,

and you'll tell them again.

tomorrow. not today.

today, you're hoping they'll come rushing in

and unravel everything.

but tears only come in when they can pull you down,

so, not today.

today, you'll just have to wait

but hope can be quite hopeless...

how are you feeling today?

these stories, they change each time you tell them.

they know which part of you to pick on today.

they do the work of gravity on good days

and sit with you on days like today.

you dogear each page, you like the permanence of it.

better than bookmarks, you say. they won't slip away.

they're just folds on corners that you would've never noticed.

meaningless and impermanent.

but not to you, not today...

you make the story about those scars,

the ones that no one notices,

the ones that you keep forcing yourself to see.

new stories might be at the tip of your tongue,

ones that make you laugh,

and cry with laughter...

but the bitter taste of laughter mixed with guilt

will never leave your mouth. or so you think...

at least not today.

but try again tomorrow?

how are you feeling today?

~ some days // sometimes the only thing keeping you stuck is a narrative that you’ve grown comfortable listening to